Cat's Cradle
by SweettFace
Summary: Cat was trying to put her haunting past behind her and was trying to move on for the sake of her child. But what she didn't seem to know was that the past will always follow you. Everywhere you go , it will go as well. There's no escaping. No matter how traumatizing it is. Cabbie Eventually. T for swearing, self harm. I don't own Victorious or iCarly! (Sequel to Cat, Interrupted)
1. Prologue

_Cat's Cradle:_

_Prologue_

_"If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgement of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgement now."_  
_― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations_

* * *

_This is a story about a woman. A woman who was stolen of her innocence on February 14th, 2011. A woman who almost died in the aftermath.  
_

_She didn't though. She tried everyday to survive, and sometimes it was too much and she hurt herself to distract her from her problems, but she just made more problems of her own. _

_That woman lost her brother on May 5, 2011, to self harm. Something he had learned from her. Now that dug her 20 more feet into her grave, but she continued to climb. _

_On May 15th, 2011, she and her friend, Erin, who was raped as well, went down to the police station, and told them of the crime that was done to them. That day was the first time in many that she had seen her parents so worried about her. _

_The next day she found she was carrying her rapist's baby. She didn't want it. She didn't want to wake up everyday and be reminded what happened to her when she looks into her baby's face. _

_She could never abort it. That woman was pro life and believed abortion was murder, and she could take away someone's life. _

_She didn't know what to do. _

_On May 18th, Lane Alexander was arrested for rape. _

_That was the same day everyone found out why that woman was so disturbed and dark. _

_On July 7th, 2011, she had to go to court. Lane's lawyer made it impossible for her story to be true with the way he twisted up her words, so she got frustrated, and just decided to show everyone her pregnant belly.  
_

_Boy were they shocked. _

_That was the same day she let the boy she loved with all her heart go. He deserved someone better. _

_She didn't talk to him again after that. _

_On July 10th, 2011, she was back at court. The jury found Lane guilty for statutory rape in the second degree for both girls. He was sentenced to thirteen years in prison, no bail. It was a joyous day for all.  
_

_On September 11th, 2011, she became seventeen, an age she thought she'd never reach. _

_On November 1st 2011, that woman gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Taylor Eliza Valentine, after her late brother, Tyler Elliot. She weighed eight pounds nine ounces, and had little tiny brown curls. Her skin was an almond color, and hazel eyes. Something the woman recognized instantly, because they were identical to Lanes.  
_

_On November 5th, 2011 that woman took that little baby home, and never put her down. She was attached, and she couldn't get enough. The baby girl never cried, she would just stare up at her, and yawn alot. _

_On November 16th, 2011 that woman started her first day of being homeschooled, by her aunt. _

_On March 2nd, 2012, that woman really began to see Lane in her daughter. She looked just like him. The skin, the eyes, did this baby have anything from her mother? Didn't seem like it. _

_On May 21st, 2012, she graduated highschool, and could finally say she survived it. _

_On May 22nd, 2012, she dyed her back to her trademark color. Redvelvet. _

_On June 16th, 2012, Cat found a job, as a cashier at Forever 21. She absolutely loved it. Wasn't long until she was manager.  
_

_That woman was putting her haunting past behind her and was trying to move on for the sake of her child. But what she didn't seem to know was that the past will **always **follow you. Everywhere you go , it will go as well. There's no escaping. No matter how traumatizing it is.  
_

_That woman is me, Caterina Valentine. I'm going to tell you my story now, the rest of it. Just be aware that happy ever afters don't exist.  
_

* * *

_YAY! PROLOGUE!I'll have the first real chapter up, when the trailer is done. ahaha_

_excuse mistakes please, no beta_

There's a fanpage on Facebook for this! It's called The Caterina Series. :)

_Please Review/follow! :D  
_

_Love you guys lots, _

_Rya Quinn _


	2. chapter one

Cat's Cradle

Chapter One:

demons

_"There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but I have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well."_  
_― Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember_

* * *

Thirteen years. Thirteen years its been since that night that changed me forever. I still can't believe I made it, I would have never guessed that I could make it through something like that. I guess that's the whole purpose of life though. Proving everyone wrong, facing your fears, beating the odds. It's never easy, it's a bumpy road, but when you make it, the view is sure damn worth the wait. I look in the mirror and I don't see a sixteen year old girl who is weak and childish anymore. I don't see a girl with too much eyeliner, red lipstick and black clothes on. I see a twenty six year old woman with beautiful auburn hair, pink lips, and beautiful brown eyes that can be seen clearly now since her tears have dried.

I used to think life was not worth living, and that everything and everyone was out to get me, but that wasn't the case at all. If I had gone, I would never had such a close relationship with my parents, my best friend Jade, or most importantly my daughter. They're the reason I do what I do, they're the reasons I try.

I live in a cozy three bedroom apartment with my daughter in Venice Beach. I work at Forever Twenty One, in fact I'm a manager, but I also go to school to work with traumatized kids. Kids who remind me of me.

I got my daughter, Taylor a yorkie for her ninth birthday, we named her Bella. I sort of regret getting her now. I love her I really do, but I'm not really an animal person, I don't like whole having to walk them and pick up there poop but hey I'm still learning. But ofcourse I got Taylor yet another pet for her tenth birthday, a tabby cat named Franco. I just can't say no to her.

Taylor's been asking about her father since she could talk, and I've been stalling since I can remember. I don't want her to know about her father, and how he's a monster.

I feel bad about it though. I'm doing it for her own good, but I know there are things she wishes her dad could've been there to see. But I could never change what he did to me, or what happened to him. I've learned alot about fate. It's not about what happens, it's about what you learn from what happens.

Taylor looks exactly like Lane. Same hazel eyes, same skin color, same smile. She's still beautiful to me though, even though she resembles her rapist father. I remember the feeling I got when she was born. I made Jade her godmother, Jade was ecstatic. Jade's amazing with her. Words can't describe how grateful I am to have her in my life. She's there where I have my breakdowns, my anxiety attacks, she's there to help me pay Taylor's private school tuition thanks her "A Class" actress status, ans she's there to take Taylor to school every morning. She's like a second mom.

According to what I hear, Taylor's quite the popular girl in school, but it's not for bad reasons. She's kind, respectful, and genuinely cares for others. She volunteers at the animal shelter everyday after school, and feeds to the homeless on Sundays.

She's also a dancer. Ballet, pointe, hip hop, tap, yup all that. I think she got it from me. I was quite the dancer when I was younger. There's one talent she has but isn't open about it. She loves to sing, just like her mother used to. That's something she truly got from me.

I found a journal she writes in open one day, and turns out she wants to go to Hollywood Arts. I don't know how I feel about that though. Not after what happened. Sikowitz still works there, and he's still crazy, I don't want her finding out what happened there from him of all people.

I will tell her someday. When I think she's ready, when I think she'll be able to handle it. The thing is I don't want her to look at me differently, or want to know details. I don't want to have to talk about it again. I don't to awaken demons I let die years ago.

It's been thirteen years since I've spoken to Robbie. He never to spoke to me after that day I told him to go, I guess it just hurt too much. Weird though, Erin and I are still very much best friends but she's never mentioned him, or told me he asked for me. I know its best, but I sort of wish he never moved on. Now he's in Seattle, and probably married with kids. Probably doesn't even remember how he used to feel about me.

I remember how he used to feel about me. He used to love me, he used to make me feel loved. Now I'm all alone wishing he was here, but I made the decision to let him go. I love him more than I love myself, so I had to let him go. I had to let him be free, and it felt good at first. But after that first year, I regretted it.

I've never been able to love anyone like I love Robbie. Men hit on me all the time, but I'm just not interested. I'm way too scared.

Besides, Jade tells me what it's like to be married to Beck, and from what she describes, ugh it seems like a pain. She says it's worth it though. Spending your life with the person you love, it's worth all their bullshit tantrums.

Trust me, I deal with enough tantrums.

It's fine. As long as I have my daughter I'll be just fine.

I think.

* * *

_**A/N-** I've been wanting to post this for so long now! :) ahhh finally. It took SO LONG because I was waiting for the trailer to be finished, and it still isn't. No matter how many times I speak to the girl making the trailer, she says one thing but something else happens. This will probably be the last trailer for a story of mine, and the last time I rely on someone. _

_The trailer is still very appreciated, but Savannah I think its really messed up how you're still able to make and post other videos on YouTube while I've been waiting two months just for one. :(  
_

_ANYWAYS_

_**Please Like "The Caterina Series" on Facebook.** _

I'm not updating until there's a sizable amount!

I'm not trying to be "thirsty" for likes or anything, I just have so much to share with you guys you know?

_I hope you guys liked this chapter, the next chapter isn't going up until I get some likes! ~_

_REVIEW PLEASE! ~_

_Please and thankyou for everything. I love you all. ~  
_


	3. chapter two

Cat's Cradle

Chapter Two:

light

_"There is light at the end of every tunnel. Some tunnels just happen to be longer than others."_

_― Ada Adams_

* * *

_~Taylor POV ~  
_

It's four am in the morning on a Tuesday and I'm awake. I'm wide awake. Why am I awake? I just can't help this feeling I have whenever its this time. I see a peak of the sun and the orange clouds, and I feel like I can do anything. All my life I've felt like I didn't belong. Look at me compared to my mother, she's not pale but she's not black like I am. Yeah sure some people say I'm "tan"or "almond", but there's a part of me that's black. A part of me I don't know, maybe because I don't know who my own father is. My mom seems to always have something to say every time I ask her about him. I just wanna know where I'm from, besides Italy.

I'm not of those greedy kids, I'm very happy. My life is great. I have a loving mother, a loving godmother, two amazing pets, but there's a part of me that has questions that I just want answered. Is that wrong?

My mom told me I had an uncle, her baby brother, and that he was sick and hurt himself. She said that he was her light at the end of the tunnel. He was the answer to all of her questions, all of her doubts went away when he smiled, and life was just complete. I want to feel complete too. I want to know my dad.

::

""Tay time to wake up, it's 7:00." my mom says. "I made pancakes."

I crack my eyes open to see my mom staring right down at me. "Whoa mom! You scared the crap out of me!"

"Sorry but that seems to be the only way to get to wake up nowadays." my mom says, walking out my room.

Beautiful doesn't even describe my mom, and I don't think she even realizes how beautiful she is. I would give anything to look like her. When I look in the mirror I don't even see how we could be related.

Is it hard being a single mom? What is it like raising me? Plus she had me really young, and she gave up her life. What was that like? I have so many questions, but I don't know how to answer her. I know absolutely nothing about my own mother, and every-time I try to get to know her, she blocks me out. She won't tell me anything about her life before me, her friends, her crushes, her school, nothing. I'm her daughter she's supposed to talk to me. It's like we're worlds apart.

So this is why I lean on the idea of my dad so much. If my mom won't talk to me, maybe he will. I just need to find out who he is first.

I have dance today, so that means I only have one hour after school to rest before I have to got to four hours of dance. I love dance I do, it's my life, but I'm so tired all of the time, and sometimes I wonder why I do it myself. I want to spend more time at the shelter helping the animals, and volunteering at the hospital.

But I could never give it up. It's one way I can express myself. Maybe one day I can put on a show for the patients at the hospital. One day.

::  
"So what's up mom?" I ask, poking my pancake. "How's everything?"

She looks up from the book she's reading and smiles warmly. "Everything's great sweetie. How are you?"

"Just fine." I say, smiling. _'Just perfectly fine.'_

"You have dance today remember?" my mom says as she drinks her coffee.

"How could I ever forget? You don't let me." I say, rolling my eyes.

"Taylor what's this about?" my mom asks, shocked at my tone.

"You! Why won't you tell me where you went to school? Or what it was like?" I yelled. "Or I know! Who my father is!?"

"Hey Taylor you ready for school?" my godmother Jade said as walked into our apartment.

Jade always took me to school, and I looked forward to it everyday. Since my school, St. Alaine, is in West Beverly that's twenty minutes to talk with the one person I trust more than anyone.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I say glaring at my mom and slamming the door after me.

::

I waited in the car for about five minutes until I finally saw Jade. Gosh I hate being in that house sometimes. I feel like I'm living with a stranger.

"Tay your mom told me what happened." Jade said as she gets into the car and starts the engine. "Why do you always attack her like that?"

"I don't mean to Jade. I just, aren't a mother and daughter supposed to bond over things the mom has gone through that daughter is now going threw?"

Jade nods.

"Then why won't she tell me anything? I don't even know my own mother Jade. What is she hiding from me?" I say, tearing.

"Taylor your mom didn't have a great life when she was younger, it's really hard for her to talk about it." Jade explains.

"What's that supposed to me?!" I yell. "So I can't know what her favorite show was when she was ten?"

"Give her some time Tay." Jade encourages, smiling.

"I've given her thirteen years."

::

"Alright time to assign partners for the video project." my English teacher says.

Maybe she'll pair me up with Briana. Everyone knows Briana is my best friend though, so maybe not.

"Briana you're with Jess." my teacher says.

Briana pouts at me.

"Taylor you're with Ethan."

My eyes widen. Ethan? The boy whose made my life hell since kindergarten. As if things at home weren't bad enough.

* * *

A/N: **Follow Taylor on Twitter :) at TayyValentine**

Please follow and favorite.

dont forget to review!

love you all! Thanks for everything! ~


	4. chapter three

Cat's Cradle

Chapter Three

outcast

_"A young outcast will often feel that there is something wrong with himself, but as he gets older, grows more confident in who he is, he will adapt, he will begin to feel that there is something wrong with everyone else." _  
― Criss Jami

* * *

_~Taylor POV ~  
_

"Looks like we're stuck together Valentine." Ethan teased, following me as I began to walk to my second period class. He held the door for me, inviting me to walk through.

I rolled my eyes, and looked at him. "Ethan we're freshman in high-school now, don't you think its time you grew up?"

"I am grown up. I'm fourteen, you're thirteen." He replied smirking. "Seems pretty grown up to me."

He's so irritating. Ever since we were little he used to annoy me to no end. Pick on me, and call me names and pull my hair. Why won't he just leave me alone?

"Taylor the bell just rang like two seconds ago, we have six minutes between classes. Why won't you just stop for a sec-"

"Because I don't want to talk to you! You spent the past nine years making me want to be home-schooled and now you want to talk? Leave me alone."

He is so childish it's pathetic. Who the hell does he think he is?

_~Caterina POV~_

"I never thought she could yell at me like that Erin." I said as I put a shirt on the proper hook. I'm the manger and there are people whose job is to do this, but I have to clean a mess when I see one.

"I think you guys need to have a sit down. She's thirteen years old Rina. This is new territory. Hormones, mood swings, you were a teenager once too." Erin said as she followed me.

"Yeah but she's never done that before ever! I don't know what to do. I thought I was doing such a good job, but it's like she's hated me this whole time." I said, putting my hands on my head.

"Rina Taylor doesn't hate you." Erin said to me, shaking me slightly. "She's just curious."

::

_~Taylor POV~_

I just wanna lay in bed forever. I don't want to deal with my mom, school, or stupid Ethan. It feels like everyone is out to get me. I'm not a bad person am I? I try and I try to show my goodness always, but I feel like no ones does the same for me.

Thats why I dance. I let all my feelings that I leave hidden inside of me out with every frappe' I do. That's when I'm truly myself. When I'm dancing.

"Hey Tay." Jade said as she knocked on my door. " What's up? How was school?"

"Ugh I got paired for a project with Ethan." I complained dropping myself headfirst onto my bed. " Of all people. Him."

"Why do you hate him so much anyways?" Jade asked, touching my hair.

"Real question is why does he hate me so much." I said, rolling my eyes. "I'm gonna see if she'll pair me up with someone else."

"Maybe he likes you Tay." Jade said, sitting down next to me. "I was pretty mean to Beck before we started going out, and even after. I dunno it's just who I was."

Ethan liking me? That has to be the most sickening thing I've ever heard anyone say. Ew. He's not even cute. Okay I'm lying he's cute, but his attitude makes him ugly. How do you even attempt to see the good in people who constantly bring you down?

"Taylor? I'm home!" my mom called out, as she shut the front door.

Shit.

"Thanks for picking Taylor up from dance Jade." my mom said, leaning against my door.

"Yeah sure no problem, anything for my goddaughter." Jade said, smiling.

"How was school Taylor?" My mom asked me, walking towards me. She was wearing white pants, black heels, and a royal blue blouse. She looked amazing, even when I know she's upset with me. She just always looks amazing. I wonder if there was a time my mom didn't look amazing.

"It was like every other day mom." I said, getting off my bed and walking out the room.

"Taylor Eliza Valentine I am speaking to you!" my mom yelled, her face red. "Do not ever walk away from me!"

"What mom? I really don't want to talk to you or I'll say something I'll regret." I spat back, acid on my tongue.

_*Seattle, Washington DC* _

_~Robbie POV~_

"It's okay Sammy. You don't have to fight anymore, if it's time for you to go I understand." I said squeezing my wife's hand as she lie in her hospital bed. "I don't want you to hurt anymore."

"Robbie I'm so sorry. We-we were supposed to travel the world, we were gonna live happily ever after. What happened love?" she cried, her appearance breaking my heart.

"Cancer happened." I replied, wiping my eyes.

"Mommy are you going to die?" our daughter Sabrina asked, wiping her eyes. "I don't want you to go."

"I'm never gonna leave you Sabrina, ever, mommy's always gonna be here right in your heart." Sam said as she pointed to Sabrina's heart.

" Robbie never stop dreaming baby" She said, looking into my eyes with so much sadness."I know your dreams, and what you want to do before you die. Do it baby, do it for me. "

"It's going to be so hard Samantha, I love you so much. My dream was you, it's still you. It will always be you." I cried, trying to fight the tears.

Five years ago when Sabrina was born, everything was perfect. We were all healthy, we were happy, we were okay. But just two months later a trace of acute myeloid leukemia was found in my wife. Our baby was only two months. And now we're here, and my baby's never going to see her mom again.

I remember when Sam and I first met, I had just graduated high school, and had been accepted into The Seattle School of Performing Arts. She was a dancer, I played instruments. She was amazing, I was eh. She was talented, I was a freak. But she fell in love with me anyways. I'll never forget that. She accepted me for who I am, and didn't judge me even though everyone else did. I'll always love her for that.

Without her I don't know where I belong. Without her I'm an outcast.

When Sabrina was born it was like falling in love with Sam all over again. Beautiful brown curls and Sam's blue eyes. She had the same pink cheeks, and that beauty mark above her lip. That always brings a warmth to my heart, there will always be a little piece of Sam inside of Sabrina. Sabrina is our love, she resembles our dreams and our plans.

My thoughts were interrupted by my wife's brutal coughing. Her eyes were bloodshot, dark circles underneath. She was still just as beautiful as she was when I first met her. She always will be.

"Robbie promise me you'll go find a new dream, don't stop because of me. I want you to be happy." She breathed, touching my face.

I nodded, kissing the top of her hand.

"Goodbye my Sabrina, take care of daddy for me okay? I love you, be good, you're a sweet girl and you're gonna do big things someday. Never give up love, I love you so much. " she cried, hugging Sabrina one last time.

"I love you mommy." Sabrina sobbed, shaking.

"Take care of our baby Robbie. Whatever happens stay strong for Sabrina. Please." Sam said, her tears speeding up. "I love you."

"I love you too. Forever and Always." I said, kissing her one last time.

"It hurts so much Robbie. It all hurts so much." She said looking up the ceiling.

"Shhh it's okay. Let go. Close your eyes. Dream." I choked out, my tears pouring down my face.

"Goodnight love." She said as her heart stopped beating. "I lov-"

* * *

_I just want you all to know that this is JUST TOTALLY coincidental. I wrote down the plot of this story already, every major thing is already written down and planned out. This is just really coincidental. __I am so heartbroken at the news about Talia, she's an amazing little girl. Just keep swimming in heaven Talia. We love you! I am in no way using what happened to her for my story.  
_

_As for the cancer, I'm not really too good with the subject, it depresses i refuse to get into, it just makes me too sad.  
_

_God forbid cancer to anyone._

_xoxo_

_I WAS CRYING the whole so hard when i wrote this. I tried to make it as sad as I could. I hope it was good! Plenty of chapters to come!_

_btw i deleted taylors twitter, it was too much to handle. haha but I still have my account! Follow me on twitter at sweettface! Thanks love you! _

_oh and yes the sam that just passed away is Samantha Puckett. :( _

_REVIEW please! :) What do you think Robbie's gonna do next?_


	5. chapter four

Cat's Cradle

Chapter Four

a new day

_"Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow." _  
_ ― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet_

* * *

~Robbie POV~

"Thanks for the ride Beck." I say, getting my daughter out of her car seat.

"No problem Robbie anything you need just tell me." He replied, offering me a warm smile.

"Actually I need you guys not to tell anyone I'm here at all." I say, looking him and Jade in the eye. "I don't want to deal with it right now. The questions, the curiosity."

_the confrontations _

Jade nodded knowing exactly what I meant.

"Okay." Beck said sincerely.

I smiled before turning around walking towards the house I grew up in, Sabrina wrapped around me while I pulled one of the suitcases. I was just about to turn back and ask them for help but there were already out of the car, lugging the rest of my bags.

There were still my friends even after how long its been. Even after I had left without a word.

When I finally got to my front door, memories flooded into me. My childhood, my life, my safe haven, my home. My parents decided to leave it to me for when I decided to come back home, they moved back to Italy, their home.

I opened the door and the smell of vanilla slapped me in the face. It was still there, that smell. Everything was still here actually. All of my moms china, the couch where I spilled Erin's make up on, our dining table.

"Robbie if you ever need anything ever, just call us." Jade said, kissing Sabrina's forehead. "We're really glad you're back."

I smiled, feeling home again.

"And Robbie." Beck said, as she held the door open for Jade."I-I'm really sorry about S-sam."

I faked a smile, and nodded at him. "Me too."

And then he was gone, and Sabrina and I were alone. I was in California. A place I promised myself I'd never come back to, for the sake of my heart, I swore I'd never come back, but here I am.

"Daddy where are we?" Sabrina asked me rubbing her eyes.

"This is our new home Brina. You like it?" I asked her, kissing her hair.

"As long as I get to be a pwincess and this is my castwle." she said, showing her two missing teeth.

It had been six weeks since the funeral but it feels like just yesterday. I hadn't seen my daughter smile since then until now.

"You're always gonna a princess to me Sabrina." I said, smiling at her admiring her blue eyes.

"And you're always gwonna my daddy." She said, wiping her eyes some more. " Mommy had to bye bye, but I'm weally happy I still have you daddy."

The love I have for this little girl is like no other, and I can see and feel that she knows and she feels the same way. My little girl, a piece of my heart. I don't know what I'd do without her.

::

"Daddy who's room is this?" Sabrina asked me, clearly curious about the pink walls.

"This used to be your aunties room sweetie." I said. "Now it's yours."

Erin hadn't been home most of her teen years, so her room was basically designed for a ten year old girly girl. Her dolls that she never played with were on the shelf, her pink and purple carpet, her fairy princess table set, god I remember trying to destroy all of this. I'm so happy she always stopped me.

"MINE?" Sabrina screamed, jumping up and down. "AWW DADDY YOU'RE THE BESTEST!"

I loved putting a smile on her face, even if I couldn't put one on my own.

"Can we ice cweam daddy? Pwease!" She asked me, still jumping.

It's keeping her happy that was the problem.

_~Taylor POV~_

Not only did I do the project myself, but oh no there's more, my teacher noticed! She assigned us together again! AGAIN! But this time she wants Ethan more useful. Ha! Because of her I have to meet up with him at the ice cream joint.

I miss my mom. I know I started it, but this tear in our relationship is really getting the best of us.

"Hello?" I said into my phone.

"Hey Tay you there yet?" my mom asked me, always worrying.

"I'm right in front of it." I said, reaching for the door. "I'll call you when I'm done okay?"

"You should've asked me to drop you off Taylor. I'm your mom, not your mean older sister." She said.

"Okay gotta go now bye." I said shutting my iphone. I looked down for one second to to put it away, and then splat. There was a huge pile of strawberry ice cream on my white shirt.

"I'm so sowwy miss!" a little girl with brown curls, and the most piercing blue eyes I've ever said to me.

"Sabrina? Oh no! Sabrina!" a man said emerging from the store. I knew this man. I've seen him before. Short curly hair, brown eyes, that smile. It's the man from my moms pictures.

_~Robbie POV~_

It was like seeing Cat's face for the first time all over again. Her features so perfect. This had to be her. Rina's daughter. The color of her skin made no difference.

One look at this young girl, and it all comes back.

The day Rina broke my heart, the day I left, the letter I wrote for her but never gave, the feelings I've been running from for years now.

My heart aches for my wife, my heart aches cause it's broken completely now. Rina broke it, and Sam healed it, boy did she heal it. But now she's gone, and so is my heart.

"I-I'm really sorry." I say, avoiding her gaze. "Come on Sabrina."

I pick up Sabrina and walk as fast to the car as I can. I looked back once, why did I look back?

Her face. She looked like she was about to cry or something, like she knew everything, like she knew how I felt. _Like she knew me._

* * *

_DUH DUH DUH_

**Review please ~**


	6. chapter five

Cat's Cradle

Chapter Five

miracle

_"What kind of miracle ripped out your heart, and left you breathing?" _  
_ ― A.B. Sheperd, Lifeboat _

* * *

~Robbie POV~

"Daddy who was that?" Sabrina asked me, her blue eyes boring through mine. "Why are you hwiding from her?"

"I'm not hiding from anyone, I-I just, she reminds me of someone." I reply honestly, looking down at my hands. "Someone I cared about." _still care about. _

She was looking at me, but in a way I've never seen her look at my before. She was only five, but her face, she seemed so understanding.

"Did you care about them like you care about mom?" She asked me, breaking her gaze and looking out the window.

"I used to." I say, finally pushing the pedal and driving away.

"Don't be sad daddy, everything hwappens for a reason right? That's what mommy said." Sabrina said, sticking her hand out of the window letting the wind squeeze through her little fingers. "So who does she remind you of?"

I looked at my daughter, admiring her beauty. She looks so much like her mother, it's like Sam is right there in that passenger seat, not Sabrina.

"A woman I once loved." I finally said, letting the silence tell me the conversation has ended.

~Taylor POV~

That was definitely him, and he knew who I was or he wouldn't have run off like that. I collected my self and walked into the parlor.

"Did you do anything I told you to do at all?" I asked Ethan as I sat down across from in disbelief. "Where's your research?"

"Now what on earth are you rambling on about now?" Ethan asked me, smirking.

"I'm not doing this Ethan. Not this time." I said, rolling my eyes. "You're selfish asshole."

"That hurt." He said, he said sarcastically, widening his eyes.

"What did I ever do to you Ethan?" I asked him, staring him in the eye. "Why do you do this to me?"

"Nothing."

"Then why!?" I whisper screamed, looking around making sure not to cause a scene.

"Cause you're _hott_." He said emphasis on the t, smirking his signature smirk.

_Did he just- did he seriously just call me hott? Now of all times?_

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. He disgusts me.

"Here, write down whatever info you can find." I say shoving a book I picked up at the library into his chest.

I don't get this boy. He doesn't even try to do good. He's not kind, he lies, and uses people. Why doesn't he try? Why won't he?

::

"Hey Taylor can I tell you something?" Ethan asks me, breaking the fifty minute awkward silence. We were finally getting some work done.

"What?" I reply, continuing to write.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you when we were younger." He says.

I looked up surprised, I wasn't expecting that. He was fighting between looking at the table or my eyes. I didn't believe him. Ethan would never apologize, ever. Even if it was the last thing he were to do.

I just stared at him for what felt like eternity, he was so attractive. Such a shame, his bad attitude takes away from it.

My thoughts were ripped from me, and I heard a laughing sound. His eyes looked the same, they looked truthful and sincere, but there was something about his face. That's when I realized he was laughing.

"And to think I actually almost believed you!" I said, snatching my jacket and walking out the door.

It was late but I didn't care, I just wanted to get away. I ran until I found myself in an alley. Where was I? If there was anyone I hated more than Ethan Kane, it would be him in twenty years with no job and washout at a bar.

"Hey little miss pretty. You seem lost. " I heard someone say behind me from the distance. I reached into my bag to get to phone, and ran. I ran as fast as I could.

~Robbie POV~

"Daddy I think she's gone by now. I really just want some ice-cream! Please Daddy!" Sabrina complained, dropping her head to the side, tucking her blonde curls to the side.

"Okay fine, but one scoop. You're already too hyper." I say, smiling at her pout.

_"Leave me alone!"_

I saw her. That young girl from before, she was being backed against a wall. I n-needed to do something. I needed to do something fast!

"Daddy look! It's that girl!" Sabrina look pointing out the window. "She's screaming Daddy. Why's she screaming?"

I grabbed my phone and dialed 911.

"Listen Sabrina, someone's gonna answer this and you're gonna tell them a man is attacking a young girl, and you're gonna put your head down and not unlock the door for anyone but me okay?"

She nodded frantically.

"_911 what is your emergency?" _

I got out the car, and ran towards them.

"Let me go! I don't have anything!" She screamed, as he slapped her across the face. "Please! I'm only a little kid!"

"You have a sexy body that's what you have." The man said, slurring his words. He was drunk, very _very _drunk.

"And this what I have!" I said as he turned around. I punched him as hard as I can sending him to the ground.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, searching her face for any sign.

She blinked. "I-I, y-yes."

I heard the sirens, and I knew that everything would be okay.

~Caterina POV~

"Oh my God Taylor! Are you okay?" I said as I rushed to her. She was leaning against the ambulance, blanket around her. "W-what happened? Why didn't you call me to come pick you up? My God Taylor you don't know how I scared I was!"

I wrapped my arms around her as I tight as I could. I was never going to let ever, I could've lost her.

"I-i'm sorry mom, I was just so mad at you and now Ethan. I'm so stupid. I'm sorry."

"No you're not stupid. It's okay Taylor. It's okay you're safe now baby." I assured, kissing her hair.

"That man over there saved me." She said, pointing across the street.

My eyes widened and my heart stopped.

He was back, this has to be some kind of miracle.

There he was, all grown up. I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be him. I knew we would meet again, but I didn't think it would feel think way. It hurts. It's all coming back now. The pain.

Then that's when I saw it. He was bending down to hug a young girl, she looked terrified and just like him.

He looked over my way, and then it happened.

A tear, I saw it. It fell in a thin line down his cheek. But that's all there was, no "I haven't seen you in forever" look, or"I missed you" look. Just hurt, and betrayal.

Him and the little girl got in the car, and he was gone just like that.

I could've sworn I felt a tear fall from my eye as well.

* * *

**Review please ~ **


	7. chapter six

Cat's Cradle

Chapter Six

acquaintances

_"I won't ever leave you, even though you're always leaving me." _  
_ ― Audrey Niffenegge__r _

* * *

_~ Robbie POV~ _

It's been two weeks since what happened. Two weeks of avoiding, and dodging calls. I don't want to hear Jade tell me one more time how I should talk to her, and face my demons. She looked like Cat again. She looked like the girl that I fell in love with. I'm glad she has finally found her way again, I'm glad she's happy. I'm glad her and her daughter are making it. I can't imagine going through what Taylor is. Knowing she's the product of a rape.

"Daddy what are you thinking about?" Sabrina asked, poking me.

"Nothing baby." I lied, smiling and picking her up. She smiled back, placing her head on my chest.

We've settled into our new home quite nicely. The house feels empty though. Without my parents, and Erin, it doesn't feel the same.

"You're thinking about that woman aren't you daddy?" Sabrina suddenly asked me. I looked at her, shock across my face. The things this little notices, I cant.

"What would make you think that Brina?" I asked her, hoping she wouldn't say something I know would be right.

"She's in the pictures you showed me, when you were younger." She responded, playing with her hands. "And daddy, you look at her like you looked at mommy."

I don't want her to think I don't love her mom anymore, no one could ever replace Samantha. I love Cat too. I always have, always will. I guess you just never forget your first love.

::

"Thankyou for letting me get a puppy daddy!" Sabrina said happily skipping down the street in front of me. "I'm gonna choose a girl, and I'm gonna name her fluffy!"

"And what if you happen to like a boy puppy more?" I asked her, laughing at her enthusiasm.

"I-I'm gonna, um, I know! I'm still gonna gonna him fluffy!"

I chuckled to myself as I opened the door for us, the bell ringing as I did. It looks like a typical pet store. Accessories and items for sale up front, animals in the back. Sabrina ran to the dogs before I could even tell her to be careful. Her eyes glued to the glass like she was in a trance.

I love how headstrong she is. When she wants something, she fights for it, and she doesn't give up. _Ever. _I'm not really an animal person, never was, but for Sabrina's sake, I should get her something to keep her company in our big empty home.

A rack of collars caught my eye, and I noticed one that I particularly liked. It was pink and red, and the colors were having what seemed like a war. Which one would cover up more of the collar.

"You." I heard someone say behind me. That voice sounded familiar. I turned around to be met with Cat's daughter.

_Why me?_

"You saved me that night, and you left before I could even say thankyou." She said, she sounds offended.

"My apologies, my uh daughter was really shaken up and I just wanted to take her home." I responded, tucking my hands in my pockets. It wasn't a complete lie, Sabrina was pretty scared, and I wanted to get her out of there.

Cat's daughter smiled at me, seeming to understand. "Well thankyou. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there."

"You're welcome. Always willing to help."

I just assumed the conversation was over, and I began to walk away. But no.

"Actually funny that you said that. You see I know that you know my mom." She called out, walking towards me." I want to know how."

I looked at her with confusion. What does she care?

"How do you know my mom?" She asked me again, annoyance in her voice this time.

"I went to highschool with her." I responded, looking behind me to see where Sabrina was. Still glued to the glass.

"Is your name Robbie?" She asked me suddenly, looking into my eyes.

I nodded.

Her next question is what really threw me off.

"Is there any way you know who my father is?"

::

"Daddy look at this one. She's soooo cute!" Sabrina screeched, dragging towards the dogs, jumping up and down. "I want her daddy! Can I please have her?"

it was a little baby creme cockapoo. The only one of its color, her brothers and sisters were all white.

"She is cute little thing isn't she?" I said, bending down to see her at Sabrina's eye level. She kept falling over, it was adorable. "Alright fine, but we're gonna have to work extra hard to take care of her. Are you sure you can?"

She nodded excessively, grinning ear from ear.

"I'll get you your paperwork." Cat's daughter said from behind me. I hadn't even realized she was wearing the store logo on her shirt. She worked here. Of-course she did.

A few moments later she was back with a white form.  
"Okay so to adopt, we're going to have make sure she'll be getting the best care possible, so we'll have to come visit your house." She explained to me. "After that, we'll give you a call and we'll go from there."

"Okay so when would this take place?" I asked her, reading the form.

"You choose the date."

"And who would be evaluating my home?" I asked her, looking her in the eyes.

She smiled, and reached out her hand. "Nice to meet you, my name is Taylor."

* * *

_and they are acquainted._

_ sorry it took so long! writers block is a bitch. _

_no beta, excuse mistakes please! _

**_Review please! :D_**


	8. chapter seven

Cat's Cradle

Chapter Seven

sanity

_"Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination." _  
_ ― Mark Twain_

* * *

_~Caterina POV ~_

Taylor's changed. Ever since that night, she's been even more distant from me. She's been spending more time at work, and she goes to the dance studio even when she doesn't have to. I'm trying to tell myself that she's a teenager and this is what they do, but I don't think I can do this without her. When she was born I thought I had made a mistake in keeping her. She looks just like him, and it nearly gave me a heart attack because every time I look at her, I'm taken back to that night. _  
_

But then after a couple months she started to smile, and that smile was not Lanes. It was pure, and genuine, and I couldn't let her go after that. When it became to much she'd smile and I could somehow breathe again. When I was in falling, she'd hand me her hand and she'd help me up.

But she's not smiling anymore. Her face is cold when she see's me, and her hand is no longer there. I'm falling and there's no-one to catch me.

It's starting again, that feeling I get every once in a while. Truth is I'll always be that teenage girl who went crazy, and the pills won't always work. I can feel myself loosing my grip on this piece of my life, and I can feel her coming back.

"I've always been here Rina." someone said from behind me. "I've been guiding you." I didn't turn around cause I already knew who it was. Cat. The only thing that gets to me is that she's still teenage me. Before everything happens, she's still what I looked like all those years ago.

"I'm loosing myself again Cat. I can feel it. The-the pills aren't working anymore! What am I gonna do? W-what about Taylor?" I cried, looking in the mirror. My eye liner pouring down my face along with my tears. "Oh my God."

"What do we always do when this happens Caterina?" Cat asks me, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"We-we think about happy times, and how far we've come." I say, as the tears come down harder. "But it's not working anymore. Nothings the same."

"Maybe it's time you've told her Caterina. She feels hurt and betrayed that you won't talk to her about this. She does have a right to know." Cat says, and deep down I know she's right.

"If I tell her she'll end up like me. The truth will eat her alive until there's nothing left but a broken girl trying to fake a smile for the world." I mutter. "I-I can't do that to her Cat. I can't do that to my baby. I don't want her to live with this like I have to."

"The truth hurts Caterina but you raised a strong girl, and she will get through it. You will get through it together." Cat says, turning me around and wrapping her arms around me.

I sob into her neck because I know she is right, and I know I have to tell Taylor.

But I can't.

_~Robbie POV~_

"Daddy whens Taylor coming over to check the house?" Sabrina called out to me, jumping up and down. "I can't wait!"

"Yeah Beck everything's fine. Okay. Yeah. Alright bye." I say as I end the call and walk to Sabrina's room where she's jumping on her bed.

"She'll be here soon babygirl." I say as I sit down onto her chair as I watch her.

_"Sam what are you doing?" I ask, smiling widely. _

_"Jumping on the bed." She responded, out of breath. _

_"I can see that, but why?" I ask her laughing. "You're pregnant, won't that hurt the baby?"_

_She smiled at me. "I'm not jumping that crazily, I'm only two months and I'm sure she loves it." _

_"How do you know she's a girl?" _

_"Trust me I know." _

The sound of the doorbell ripped me away from my thoughts. I walked down the stairs to the front door, and opened it, to be met with those same hazel eyes.

"Hiya Robert." Taylor said, leaning against the wall.

"Taylor my name is Robbie." I say, annoyed.

"Yeah but this is business, and it's not like I know you and we're friends." She says back at me, smiling.

I open the door wide and gesture her to come in. She definitely spent alot of time with Jade because she had that same sarcastic and fiery tongue.

"Taylor! Taylor! Taylor!" Sabrina yells as she wraps her little arms around Taylor's legs. "I'm so happy you're here!"

"Sabrina! I'm sorry Taylor she's really Hyp-"

"Hahah! No! It's fine, I love little kids." She says to me and she bends down too give Sabrina a proper hug. "I'm happy to be here too."

"So do you want a tour of the house or?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"I like to explore on my own. Is it okay if I lead the way and you follow?" Taylor asked me, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She looks so much like Cat it's distracting. Besides the tan skin, she was her spitting image. Same cheeks, and nose, and just everything.

I hadn't even realized I had been staring until she cleared her throat.

"I look alot like my mom don't I?" She asked me, looking into my eyes.

I nodded, feeling a little embarrassed that she caught me staring.

"I don't know why you guys don't speak to each other anymore, but she wishes you do. She used to tell me about you, and how you changed her life."

My heart fluttered just a little when she said that. "She changed mine too."

::

"You have a lovely home, and I think it's the perfect place for Sammie." Taylor said to Sabrina and I.

Sabrina's eyebrows scrunched together. "Who's Sammie?"

"Oh that's the puppies name, you must've not seen it on the glass. But you could always change it if you'd like." Taylor responded, while she continued to write things down.

"That's my mommies name, and I think she'd love it if our puppy had her name too." Sabrina said, taking my hand in hers. "She'd love that wouldn't she daddy?"

I smiled at my baby girl, and I nodded. "She'd love it."

"Alrighty then! We'll call you soon." Taylor said, leaning down to hug to Sabrina once more. "Oh and Robbie here. Just in case."

She smiled and then she was gone, and the door shut.

I looked in my hand to see a little piece of paper with the words "_Taylor Valentine ~ Call me if you need me! :D" _and her number along with it.

_~Taylor POV~_

When I got home it was quiet. Really quiet. Isn't my mom supposed to be home? Everything looks the same way I left it, except for the coffee cup on the counter.

"Mom?" I called out. "You home?"

I walked into her room, not to find her. Her bed was still made, everything was in place. Where is she? I walked into my room, and put my bag down onto my bed. I went to my mirror and put my hair up. It was so hott.

That's when I heard a sniffle. "Mom?" I called out again.

"I-I'm in the bathroom Tay! Are you alright?" She responded, finally.

"Yeah, I just thought something was wrong. You weren't answering." I said back walking towards the bathroom.

"I didn't hear you. I'm sorry. I'll be out in a sec."

I heard frantic movement as if she was trying to clean up something. my heart began to race. " Mom are you alright!?"

"Y-yeah! Taylor please go to your room!"

I took out my phone and began to dial quickly.

"What's up kid?" Jade said.

"You need to come over! Somethings wrong with mom! She's locked herself in the bathroom and I-I'm really scared for her!" I cried, wiping at my face, trying to calm down.

"I'll be there in five minutes!" Jade responded, and hung up quickly after.

"MOM! Please come out!"

That's when I heard something hit the floor. It sounded like a, it sounded like a scissor or a knife. _Oh my God._

"MOM!"

::

"If you're near the door, move away now!" Jade said and then she kicked it down. _Hard. _

It bust open to something that would haunt me for the rest of my life. My mom was sitting on the toilet, her hair covering her face. One of her hands were covered in blood, and there was a knife on the floor.

And then I got a good look at her arm. About seven cuts. All bleeding and dripping onto the floor.

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop crying. She was fine this morning! What happened!?

"What have you done to yourself?" Jade cried as she ran to her and wrapped her arms around her. My mom instantly hugged her harder and sobbed.

"It's happening again Jadey." My mom said as she looked up at me.

Then her eyes widened, and she stiffened. "Oh my God! Taylor! No! She wasn't supposed to see me like this!"

I know my mom had a history with mental health, but she's been taking her pills. I know she has because I make her every morning. She's supposed to be under control.

"Come on let's get you cleaned up." Jade said she lead her to the sink.

::

This has happened before. Once when I was nine. She told me that she had to do it, she had to make herself feel alive again she told me. Jade told me that my mom went through alot of things when she was younger, things that messed her up. She told me not to tell anyone about what happened ever and that my mom would be alright.

This happens only once in a blue moon, but its traumatizing to see my mom so sad and hurt. Why would she wanna hurt herself like this? What happened to her? Why won't anyone tell anything?

I looked to see my mom walking towards me. I couldn't look at her so I looked at her arm instead. Turns out the cuts weren't deep at all, and they simply just needed to washed off and dabbed with some alcohol. Her face was cleaned up, and she looked normal again.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." She said softly as she sat down next to me. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

I closed my eyes and I felt the tears fall. I wrapped my arms around suddenly and I couldn't let go. "I'm sorry mom! For blocking you out!"

"Sweetie it's okay! I understand why you did."

_~Caterina POV~_

"You do?" Taylor asked me, crying softly.

I nodded, kissing her forehead.

"I think its time I tell you who you're father is." I say, closing my eyes. "And everything about me that I wouldn't tell you before."

She looked at me with tear-stained eyes, and her mouth open in shock. I'm sure she has been waiting for this for forever but she probably didn't want to be told like this. I had though. I had to tell her.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned my head to see Cat, nodding at me to continue.

I sucked in a breath.

"It was February 14th, 2011. There was this party at my school."

* * *

_yup. alot went down. __it's gonna get crazier. _

_I know it's been a while since I've updated and I'm so sorry! I had writers block! Follow me on twitter at Sweettface to know whats up! Ask me questions, and give me suggestions, and all that jazz. _

_I'm sorry for the really short chapters, I'm gonna make them all like this one. Longer and not just one persons POV. _

_No Beta so please excuse mistakes! If you know any good betas please tell me them! :D_

**_REVIEW PLEASE! _**

**_by the way thankyou so much for 3, 586 views and for all the reviews I have already! They really do keep me going, so please j__ust leave a review!_**

**_please and thankyou! ~  
_**


	9. chapter eight

Cat's Cradle

Chapter Eight

words

_"Because even the smallest of words can be the ones to hurt you, or save you." _  
_ ― Natsuki Takaya_

* * *

~Taylor POV~

My heart is pounding in my chest so fast I think it is going to collapse. I've waited so long for this, I've wanted to know for so long. I can't believe its happening. But why now?

"I-I was talking to my guidance counselor about my future but the music got too loud so we went outside to talk." My mom said, stopping after that and taking a breath. Tears were beginning to fall. "We just kept walking until we were in the woods and before I could ask why we were there he hit me."

I don't know what to think right now. Did she just say he hit her? Wait? I can't breathe.

"And then he just kept hitting me, and he-he raped me." She said finally, sobbing. "He's your father Taylor. "

I haven't cried like this. Never. I feel like everything I've ever known and believed has been a lie. My whole life story has been a lie. Ever since I was little I had my dad on this pedestal thinking he was some amazing guy. I have always just assumed that they had me young and they broke up, and my mom hasn't wanted me to have anything to do with him ever since.

This hurts. I yelled at her all those times, but she was just trying to protect me. I hurt her, and she was trying to protect me from this. How could I do that to my mom? The woman who has always been there for me.

I'm a thirteen year old baby who doesn't think about what her words do to other people. So I cry about it. I cry about it for a long time. So long that the mascara I was wearing that had poured down my face had dried.

"I-I'm so sorry mom. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry." I cry, shaking uncontrollably." Oh my God. I-I can't breathe. It hurts mom. It hurts. Mom please make it stop. Please I'm so sorry."

A flood of tears gashed down my cheeks splashing against my chest in a never ending cycle. I clenched my stomach, it hurt so bad. I felt so sick with myself. How could I be so heartless and cruel?

"Sssshh. It's okay. You didn't know sweetheart." my mom said to me softly, kissing the top of my head.

"Thats not a reason for me to be so cruel to you. I-I was so mean. I've been so mean to you my whole life!" I whimpered. "I've pushed you away ever since I learned what the word dad meant. I'm so sorry mom!"

I expect her to hate me, to agree with me but she just hugs me harder.

"I'm never gonna let you go Taylor. Never. You're all I've got. I'll love you forever okay?" She tells me, running her hands through my hair like she did when I six and couldn't sleep.

I nodded, wrapping my hands around her. "I love you too."

Soon all that I could hear was the sound of our sniffling, and the air conditioner. " Mom can you sing to me? Like when I was younger?"

She hesitated for a second, I know she hasn't sung in years, and I'm not sure if it has to do with happened. Dammit. Why'd I say that? Here I go messing things up again.

"Course Tay, here lean your head right me." She responded, gesturing to the crook between her chest and arm.

_"I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go_  
_ When all those shadows almost killed your light_  
_ I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone, b__ut all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

_ Just close your eyes_  
_ The sun is going down_  
_ You'll be alright_  
_ No one can hurt you now_  
_ Come morning light_  
_ You and I'll be safe and sound" _

I did as I was told and closed my eyes, listening to my moms magical voice waiting for it to drift me off to someplace else for few hours.

and it did.

~Robbie POV~

**(next day)**

"Daddy when can we get Sammie? This house is so gigwantic! Even my dollies need Sammie here to keep them company!" She explained to me, using lots of hand gestures. I wonder who she learned that from.

"Well Brina we're supposed to get a call from Taylor telling us when so we just gotta wait kid." I responded, leaning down to tuck her hair behind her ear.

She sighed, throwing her head back.

"You're gonna be starting school soon Brina, how about we go get you some supplies?" I offered, trying to sound excited to she'd be excited. I hated seeing her annoyed or upset. She has this power over me just like her mother, I have to do everything I can to make her happy again.

"Can I pick my own backpack?" She asked me, using the puppy dog eyes. Classic.

I nodded, and we were out the door in no time.

::

"Okay daddy Tinkerbell or Monster high?" Sabrina asked me, holding them both up. "I can't decide."

I studied both backpacks for a second. I liked the Tinkerbell one but it was way too small. Brina was only five, but she'd a bigger bag than that.

"Monster High." I finally decided.

"Yay! That's the one I wanted too!" She said happily jumping up and down. "I wonder which one mommy would've chosen." She says suddenly, and almost silently.

My heart breaks when she says that. She misses her mom so much, and I just wish I could make her happy again. I'm trying my hardest but will it be enough?

I hug Sabrina tightly whispering to her how much her mommy loves and I dont let go until I know she believes me.

"Robbie?" I hear a familiar voice say from behind me. Was that? No it couldn't be. I turned around quickly to be met with those same warm brown eyes welcoming smile. I missed my sister so much.

"Erin!" I hugged her without a second of thought, and tightly. "I missed you so much! I thought you were in school in Philadelphia?"

"I heard you were back in Cali, and I came down to visit for the weekend. I've missed you too bro!" She says happily, hugging me back.

"Aunty Rin! Aunty Rin! Look at how big I've gotten!" Sabrina says, trying to bring the attention to her. "I'm grown one inch! That's what my doctor said!"

"Wow Sabs! Look at you! I've missed you!" Erin says, lifting Sabrina up into the air and twirling her around and around. Sabrina laughed loudly and uncontrollably.

"So what have you guys been up to?" Erin asks, smiling at Sabrina as she puts her down. "What brings you back Robbie?"

Before I could open my mouth, Sabrina answers for me. "Daddy says this place will be our new start. That Seattle holds too many memories of mommy."

"What do you mean? Oh no did you guys break up?" Erin asks, her eyes saddening.

I look down. I hadn't told many people, I really just couldn't bring myself to it. Jade and Beck are the only ones that know.

"Actually um no Erin. Samantha had um cancer, and we- we lost her." I confess, avoiding her gaze. If I started crying it would be over. So I couldn't look at her.

"What! I'm so sorry! Robbie why didn't you tell me?" Erin says, shock written across her face." I would've went to the funeral. I would've helped you."

"I'm sorry Erin." I respond sadly, still avoiding her gaze. "I really am."

"Don't ever do that again Robbie! You and Sabrina shouldn't have had to face that alone." Erin whisper shouts to me, tears falling down her face. Dammit I looked. " I know you've changed after what happened all those years ago, but don't shut your family down like that. We would've all came. Me, mom and dad. She was my sister in law, I have to right to have known."

"This is why I didn't want to tell you! I know it was wrong okay!? You know what else is wrong? Having the girl you love tell you to leave, moving on and having your wife you love more than anything die and leave you, and having to see your daughter cry because her mom isn't here to help her with her pigtails like she used to! DAMMIT!" I shouted, my chest heaving.

"Come on Sabrina." I say, as she takes my hand and we make our way out of Target.

I didn't want to talk about it.

I don't ever want to talk about it.

I never will.

* * *

_yup that just happened and it's gonna get even crazier ;) _

_**Charbassed123** I start school this week so I'll probably start to update on Saturdays, or if I have time, on weekdays. :D Thanks so much for your kind words. You're the first person to say that to me, and it really means alot! :D  
_

_and to all the other anonymous reviewers since I can't say thankyou personally like I do to people with accounts, THANKYOUUUU SO MUCH! YOU'RE ALL SO SWEET AND YOU MAKE ME SMILE. YOU SHOULD ALL MAKE ACCOUNTS! :D :D :D _

_no beta excuse mistakes! _

_Safe and Sound- Taylor Swift_

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	10. chapter nine

A/N- this is a flashback chapter and its a little short~

Cat's Cradle

Chapter Nine

birth

_"Without darkness, nothing comes to birth, As without light, nothing flowers." _  
_ ― May Sarton_

* * *

_October Thirty First, 2011_

_~Caterina POV~_

_I remember when my water broke.I was sitting at the piano in my living room being tempted to play it, and to the song I played I felt the liquid fall down my legs. I didn't react at first, I was terrified and not prepared at all. Truth is I had I been loathing that day since day one. For obvious reasons that I'm sure all mothers who've experienced child birth can relate to, and I just, I didn't think I was ready to see my baby. To see what the worst time in my life created, to see him again.  
_

_After about three minutes I started to feel a sharp pain, and that is when I realized this was really happening. My parents rushed me to the hospital, but we got stuck in traffic so it took about ten minutes to get there.  
_

_I just wanted to get there, it hurt so much! __The pain was like having your insides twisted, pulled, and squeezed all at the same time. If I tried to fight it, the pain became worse. I couldn't bare it any longer. I remember crying and begging them to go faster even though I know they had no control over what was going on outside. _

_My contractions were the worst part. The pain was so intense, that during one I nearly zoned out completely trying to distract myself. In those couple of seconds, I had imaged myself on a beach but I wasn't alone and that's when I felt Tyler take my hand, and I knew I would make it through this. When we finally got there, the doctor said I was only five centimeters dilated, and later I nearly cried when the epidural lady came to save me.  
_

_I was in labor for eighteen whole I was younger I always thought that when you're going to have a kid you just go to the hospital and you push, but it's never that simple. You have to be ten centimeters, sometimes you can't receive an epidural, it hurts a millions times worse than people describe, and your baby takes it sweet old time._

_That's exactly what Taylor did. My doctor feared she would to do an emergency c section, because no matter how hard I pushed she just wasn't coming out. The last thing I wanted was a c-section.  
_

_Then at 1:00 am on the dot, November First, my baby girl Taylor Eliza Valentine was pounds seven ounces, and she was so pink. I cried. In that one moment that I saw her suddenly it was all worth it. All the pain I had ever gone through was worth it._

_And when the nurse handed her to me wrapped in her little pink blanket I couldn't stop my tears from falling even was so beautiful, and she was mine. I couldn't believe I was holding my baby, my precious baby. I was overwhelmed with emotions. I felt so adoration and so much love for her immediately. I was so amazed by her, how perfect she was, and I couldn't believe she had been inside me all that time. _

_She was my blood, my bones, she was me. She had Lanes everything though. His eyes,chin, cheeks and his almond skin, except she was pure and bright. She stood for everything he didn't.  
_

_She had little brown curls at the top of her head, and she was just so small and fragile. I was going to protect her always, with my life.  
_

_Taylor Eliza I replied, when the nurse asked me for her name, for my beloved brother. When my parents came in, my mother cried when I told her my babies name. I think she finally understood that everything was just an accident, and that I truly loved him as much as they did. I still do. _

_Jade, Beck, Andre, Tori and Trina come later bearing gifts and they all take pictures with Taylor, and I was just so happy. They loved her, they accepted her. I wished Robbie was there, but I wouldn't have come if I were him either.I told him to leave me, even though I know I needed him still. I will always need him.  
_

_And then Taylor yawns, and this overwhelming feels dawns over me. I was never going to put her down, she was going to stay in arms forever.  
_

_But I started to think about what led to Taylor, and everything I went through. The rape, the aftermath. Would I really be able to raise a child I had with my rapists? What if I relapse and I scare her. She shouldn't have to see me that way. _

_Maybe she's a sign, and maybe she's not. All I know is that she's my warrant, and if she's not the word of God, then God never spoke._

* * *

_A/N- it's a little short, but yeah that's the birth of taylor, and the next chapter will be way longer! Thanks so much for getting this story to 101 reviews! It means SO much to me, I just get this overwhelming feeling of joy whenever I hit 100. Cat, Interrupted currently has 256 reviews so lets see if we can go higher than that. ;)  
_

_no beta, excuse mistakes. _

_Wow! 4,353 views? On my story? AHHHHH THANKYOU SO MUCH GUYS! Means alot to me, it really does. Follow me on twitter please at sweettface to know whats up!  
_

_Please and Thankssssssya! _

**_REVIEW ~_**


	11. chapter ten

Cat's Cradle

Chapter Ten

wounds

_"There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."_  
_― Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral's Kiss_

* * *

_~Taylor POV~_

I am emotionless. There are dried tears all along my face and neck, and I'm too tired to wipe them away. I haven't left my bed in three days, and I've been staring at my ceiling ever since. I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I want to be alone with my thoughts, let them consume me.

Today was supposed to be just another normal day; I would get up at six, get ready for school, eat breakfast with mom, Jade would take me to school,then I'd come home and go to dance. Just another day, but it's not.

I don't know who I am anymore. There's been this part of me all along that is just so despicable. And all this time I was dying to know about it. Who is Taylor Valentine? Is there something wrong with me? My father was messed up, am I too?

It is Wednesday, so that means I've missed a lot of school assignments, and that means I was supposed to meet up with Ethan yesterday to work on our project.

Suddenly there was a knock on my door, and I rolled my eyes.

"How are you babe?" My mom asked quietly, standing in the doorway. "You haven't eaten or spoken."

I hesitated for a moment, "I-I can't."

She sat down softly next to me, rubbing my arm.

"Why do bad things happen to g-good people mom?" I croak out, my voice breaking at the intensity of my emotions. "Why do people continue to look down on others and decide to steal every last piece of that person that they have left?"

Of-course she wouldn't know. I'm sure she spent her whole life wondering the same thing. Why would I even ask her that?

"The truth is Taylor, is that there are really sick people in this cruel world. We gotta stay strong, and learn from our battles what it takes to survive so that no one will ever look down on us again." My mom replies to me, wiping my cheek, smiling softly. "You're going to survive this Tay, and you're going to be an even stronger and more beautiful person than ever."

I looked up at her, tears in my eyes. She made me feel so much better, it's just so much hearing that, especially from her. Right now, I can't really imagine me getting over this any time soon but maybe someday I'll be able to move on, like she did.

All though my mom still has her episodes and breaks down, I still can't think of anyone stronger than her. I mean who could ever raise the child their rapist gave them? I don't know how she did, and I don't even know how she's able to look at me, and tell me she loves me.

I want to say thankyou, but I cry instead. So I just wrap my arms around her tight, not wanting to ever let go.

~0~

My mom's convinced me to get up. I've washed my face and brushed my teeth. I decided on a messy bun, and a plain lavender dress and some converse. I have twenty seven missed calls. Ten of them from Ethan, 7 from Jade, and the rest of them are from my friend Allison.

We were joined at the hip when we younger, and when she moved away last year, until now, nothing hurt more.

I look in the mirror and see myself. I look the same, but it's like I've aged. My eyes are puffy, and my face is red. My skin isn't like my moms, I don't have a really noticeable blush, and the fact that I'm red is saying alot.

I wonder where he's from, my father. My mom tells me that I'm of Italian descent, but also half Sicilian, and half Abruzzese. That's just from my mom's side, I can't help but wonder what else I am.

I can't help but want to know who this other "family" I have is.

My mom is sitting at the table when I get to the kitchen, drinking coffee. It's kind of strange how normal she's acting after that night. I sit down in front of her.

"You want to ask me something." She says suddenly, putting her cup down and looking up at me. "Just say it."

I look down shyly, playing with my hands. I'm nervous. "W-what's his name?" I say finally.

"Lane." She replies, almost painfully. "Lane Alexander."

"What race is he?" I ask again, not even thinking about how these questions would affect her.

"He's half Jamaican and half Irish." She sniffled, wiping her face and closing her eyes.

"Mom I'm sorry! I-I shouldn't have asked yo-"

"No. No. It's okay. It's okay to ask me, I just, I've spent so long avoiding any memory of him because it hurts so much." She says quickly, trying to reassure me.

I can't but feel as if I'm a burden. I'm a big memory of Lane, I am a part of him. Does she ever cry when she see's me? Does she ever cry because she has to take care of me?

"Why did you have me then?" I whisper to her, unable to say it out loud. "Why did you do that yourself?"

She looked at me, but something's changed. She didn't look sad, she actually looked pissed the hell off.

"I had you because you're just as much mine and you are his. You're my baby! He didn't deserve to get to take away my baby too!" She said to me, her eyes swollen with tears. "The only thing I did to myself was give me a reason to live! Taylor I was in a bad place when I found out I was pregnant with you. You gave me the will to keep trying, and to go on. You saved me."

I can't say anything , I don't remember how. All I can do is look at her, and let the million tears pour down my face. I try to smile to show her how much that meant to me, and how much she means to me, but I can't.

But I don't have to because suddenly her arms are around me and I'm sobbing against her chest, and she tells me its okay. That's when I know that she knows how much I love her.

_~Robbie POV~_

I went back with Sabrina to get everything she wanted from Target, I almost left with nothing that day, Sabrina had to tell about ten times until I finally listened. I know what I did was wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone then. I just wanted Sabrina and I to have that moment alone with her, and say goodbye together, just us. I didn't believe she was really gone until it was over, if I had told them they could've came and they would've cried, and then it would've been real.

I wasn't ready for it to be real,and yeah I know death doesn't work that way.

I still remember what her hair smelled like, and how her hand feels when she interlocked it with mine. She hated too much pepper barbecue sauce on her chicken, nd she couldn't stand it when I put too much mayo in her tuna.

I miss her so much, it literally takes everything out of me not to just drop down and cry. And now I have Sabrina, who looks just like her mom, and she acts like her too. It's almost as if Samantha has been reincarnated, not just in blood, but in spirit as well.

I'm lying on a blanket at Dandelion Beach, and I can't help but remember how many times I came here in high-school. Whenever I was sad, and I couldn't be around people I just came here and stayed for hours. No one ever came her, so it was my secret place. Not even Cat knew about it.

Sabrina's running around in her one piece and she looks so beautiful. So relaxed, and her hair is blowing directly in her face, and how she pushes it back every time warms my heart. She does it just like her mother.

"Daddy! Come in the water with me!" She calls out, smiling and waving. " Try and catch me!"

And then I run. When I watch her she giggles, and I twirl her around in the air, the water around us splashing frantically.

I will never forget this moment, or how much this little girl, my daughter, means to me.

_~Cat POV~_

Taylor and I are in the car driving down the street, the windows rolled all the way down. We needed this fresh air, this breeze. I told her I'd take her some place special, and that place is Dandelion Beach. I remember the first time I followed Robbie here.

_He was sitting on a black blanket all by himself, not even with Rex, and he was just staring at the water, lost in thought. When he brought his hand up to wipe his face, I realized that he was crying. It didn't make sense to me why he was crying, but turns out that's when Erin had left to recover. He didn't know why she had left, no one did, but she did and it hurt._

_I could see he needed comfort, and any other day, any other situation, I would have walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him and held him till he stopped crying, like I always did. But this time it was different. I didn't know why, but I had this feeling that he just needed to be alone. So I left that day, and didn't look back when I did.  
_

When I get to the beach I notice a car in the spot I usually park in, so I park in the one next to it. Taylor and I get out, and she takes my hand instantly and we start to walk. We take our shoes off when we feel the sand, and that's when I see someone. He's wearing a white shirt, and he's with a child. He's smiling, and spinning her in the air, and she just looks so happy.

I feel Taylor's hand tense and squeeze mine a little too hard. What's her problem?

And that's when I really see him.

It's Robbie.

Before I can get out with Taylor as fast as I can, he turns around, and that's when I know I really am screwed.

He's staring at me, and I'm staring at him. And he's only a little far away, and not thousands of miles away like he was a month ago. I've dreamed of this moment for so long, and now that it's right here in front of me, I don't know what to think.

All the memories, all the times we've laughed and hugged, when I told to him to go, they all come back, and it's overwhelming and I'm crying now. I can't stop.

_"How can you not hate me? I really hurt you." I said, looking away._

_"I love you. I could never hate you." He said, turning my face to him. "I think I always will love you."_

_"Robbie I love you too, but I'm going to always hurt you. I'm traumatized." I said, looking into his eyes. "You deserve someone who's going to show you they love you every single second of every single day."_

_He looked down sadly._

_"That person can't be me. I'm scared to ever love again. I love you, but I was still so mean to you. I will never forgive myself for that." I cried. "Now imagine stuff like that every-time I get scared, and I get scared alot."_

_"I don't care." He said, his eyes watering. "I love you."_

_I pressed my lips against his softly._

_"I love you so much that I'm letting you go." I said, tearing. "Go. Please go be happy with someone else."_

_He got up slowly. "I will always love you Caterina Valentine. Always. Don't forget it. No matter what happens."_

It was like pouring salt on all my open wounds.

* * *

I actually really like this chapter. I'm really proud of it. Sorry this took so long, school is so annoying. I had no time. So yeah, I'll most likely always update on Saturday/Sunday.

No beta! Please excuse mistakes!

Thanks for all of your heart warming reviews, you guys literally keep me going. Follow me on twitter to know whats up!( at sweettface)

Also, does anyone know someone who'd be willing to make a trailer for this story? Please let me know!

**Review please my loves! **


	12. chapter eleven

Cat's Cradle

Chapter Eleven

heartbeat

_"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment."_  
_― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever_

* * *

~Cat POV~

"Ms. Valentine? Hi I'm Carly Shay, and I'm your therapist. Come in please." A young woman, about my age says to me. She's absolutely beautiful. Long ebony hair, and beautiful chocolate eyes.

I follow her into a lavender room with tons of books, and paintings. I can't help but look around as I enter.

"I'm sorry, I've been meaning to tidy up a bit." She apologizes, giggling in embarrassment.

"No! It's beautiful." I reassure her, picking up a picture off her desk. It was of her and a blonde woman. They were in their teens, and they were smiling. The blonde looked familiar, like I've seen her before.

"Please take a seat right here." She says pointing to the couch, and I do just that. "So I read your file..."

I looked her in the eye when she said this. That means she knows everything. I'm just waiting for her to judge me, like everyone else.

"and you are an amazing and strong woman Caterina. May I call you Caterina?" she says to me, smiling sincerely.

I nod and smile back. She has this bubbly personality that reminds me so much of Cat, who I used to be, I almost tear up. "Thankyou Carly."

"What's on your mind? Speak to me." She says scooting closer to me, and looking me in the eye. I hesitate at first because I've never really spoken to anyone about this before. Someone I don't know atleast.

So I tell her everything. My life in highschool leading up to what happened, and the aftermath. I told her about Robbie, Jade, and Erin. I just let it all out. And when I stop I look down at my shirt. My red blouse is drenched in tears. I hadn't even realized I started to cry.

My neck and face is wet all over, and the tears keep falling. Personally I don't think I've ever stopped crying. I've always been crying inside.

"Nothing that happened is your fault Caterina. It's never been your fault. It's his. He did this to you, and he could've done this to anyone else." Carly says to me, putting her hand on arm. "There is nothing with you. Your red hair, your pink clothes, your stuffed animals, they're who you are. Don't be ashamed of it. He should be. He ripped it all from you."

"It's hard though. I've tried to convince myself that I-It could have happened to my friend Tori, or Jade. Or anyone, but the fact that he knew me. I confided in him, he knew my weaknesses and he used them against me. If I didn't have them I wouldn't be here." I sobbed, wiping at my face.

"We're only human Caterina." She says to me, trying to assure me of the fact.

Robbie said that to me once. And that's when my mind goes back to yesterday.

"Caterina what has you so wrapped up? I can see it on your face. Tell me, you can trust me."

"I saw Robbie again. Yesterday. T-there he was on the beach, like a figment of my imagination. I could hear my heart beating, and it felt like it's never beat before. It felt foreign, but it wouldn't stop. Instead it sped up, and I couldn't catch my breath. And I'm looking at him, and he's looking at me." I whimper, crying more at the memory. I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"I felt my daughter Taylor take my hand, and I ripped my eyes away from Robbie to look at her, and she just has this look. Like she knows how I felt and what was going through my head at that exact moment. She smiles, and that's when I look at Robbie 's walking towards me, and he's wearing a white shirt. He's just walking with that little girl holding his hand, and I wanted to melt. He's so close to me now, but he's not stopping. My head followed him, and when he walked past me that's when I realized we will never be the same. We won't get the start over that I've been waiting for all these years."

Carly just looks at me. Kind of like how Taylor looked at me. Like I was an intense book that she just wanted to keep reading.

"Do you blame him for walking away?" She asks me.

"I don't blame him for walking away, I'm sure it hurt. He loved me. He loved me more than anything he's ever known but I told him to leave. I begged him to, I didn't want him around. He was going to help me, he was going to be good to me, he was going to make me smile again. I know that, I do. But it was never about him, it was about me. I was the one who wasn't going to be good to him. I would've screamed and shoved him every time he touched me, and cried whenever I realized that I had nothing to fear. I would've cried because I know that I won't ever know the difference between Lane and anyone else. I see Lane when I close my eyes,and I'm fighting it, I'm trying, but I can't stop him. I can't stop any of it. This nightmare will always follow me. It's another one of my weaknesses."

"I have weaknesses too you know? Everyone does." She says to me calmly.

I rolled my eyes at this. This talk about how it wasn't my fault really pisses me off, because I know the truth! I know it was!

"Has someone ever used it against you?"

"My best friend died a month ago." she says quickly, looking me in the eyes. No emotion on her face. "She had cancer, and I knew the time was coming, but I wasn't ready when it did."

I look at her in shock, I didn't know what to say.

"Death was always one step closer you know? It knew how much she meant to me, and how much I loved her. It knew I would be crushed if she died, but it took her anyway. I cried at her funeral and the whole week after that, and I never cried again."

"Carly. I, uh, I'm so sorry. I had no right to s-"

"It's okay. You didn't know." Carly interrupts me, faking a smile. "But enough about me."

"What was her name if you don't mind me asking?" I say before I'm able to think it over and stop myself. "Oh my God! Don't answer that! I'm so sorry!"

Carly forces a laugh, and smiles again. "Samantha Shapiro."

Oh. My God.

"Wait. Shapiro?" I say again, my voice cracking as my heart beats in my mouth.

Carly nods looking at me in confusion. "Her husbands name was Rob Shap- Oh my God."

"Oh my God."

"Robbie was married to your friend? T-they have a daughter?" I ask, flabbergasted.

"He told me he was going away for a while, but I didn't know he was coming here. I can't believe this." Carly says, running her hand through her hair.

I can't believe this happened to him. He has such a kind heart, and good soul. He married her, he truly loved her. They have a daughter, and now he's alone.

"I just wish I could talk to him. Let him know I'm here for him, and I always will be. I just want to tell him I'm sorry, and that I miss him so much. I miss him so much Carly! I know I made a mistake, and that we could've worked it out, and I'm so sorry!" I cry, holding my stomach tight.

"It's been so hard! I just miss him so much! He was always there for me, but I haven't been there for him, and I-"  
Carly wraps her arm around me, and I sob into her chest.

My eyesight blurs, and my mind goes into a mantra screaming his name. And the only thing I can hear is the sound of Carly's heartbeat.

_duh dun duh dun duh dun duh dun duh dun duh dun duh dun duh_

* * *

_A/N- YAY! Carly's in the story now! woohoooo! I don't like Carly's character in iCarly, but I like how her character will attribute to this story. _

_So yeah! I hope you liked it! I'm sorry if it's short! No beta, excuse mistakes! _

_Follow me on twitter at Sweettface to know what's up! Wanna know what Sabrina looks like? What Taylor Looks like? Check out my twitter! _

_Thankyou all for your continued support and love! I was reading my traffic stats and I have people in Bulgaria, Colombia, Netherlands, Ghana, Belarus, Bahamas, Greek, Poland, Canada, UK, US, and etc reading **my **_story! That blows my mind and I just **cannot **believe it.**  
**

**I remember when I started "Cat, Interrupted" in 2011, and I was just hoping people would read it and like it or even love it! And people did, and now I'm writing the sequel and you all love it too, and I just, thankyou so much!  
**

**Your making my dreams come true. :) **

**Because you guys are awesome I'm gonna try to make this story 30-40 chapters long or even more! It all just depends on what I come up with next! **

**Thankyou so much loves! **

**Review Please! **


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